I wrote that two years ago the day after Steve and I realized our marriage had become a lie. As we each confessed to each other our wrongs, as we poured out our pain. I was left standing in the smoldering wilderness, choking on the smoky aftermath of what we have become. I want to blame him but I know I had done no better. We both left the fire smoldering under the dry leaves. As if ignoring it would make the fire go away, instead it spread its tentacles out to all areas of our lives, slowly destroying what it found.
Steve: We, as husband and wife, are weak. We have tried to live our lives the way we see fit and look where it got us. But now we are looking at strength from for a new source.
It is through the weakness that God will bring great things. We bow humbly before him boasting in the weakness of ourselves. It is not easy. Our society says it’s ok to walk away, but we decided to follow God’s plan for marriage. Cassi and I talk that someday we hope God has a plan to use what we are learning together for his purpose. So he can make something beautiful from the pain.
Cassi: To make a marriage it takes work. Why do we feel that we should just know how to do it? We go to school a huge portion of our lives to prepare us for a career. We are mandated to take drivers ed. to become drivers. We attend birthing and parenting classes when we become pregnant. Certain areas of our lives we realize we need help in so why is it that with relationships we think we should be able to do it all on our own?
Steve: We realized we needed help. Professional help to teach us what to do. We went to back to school in away. We sought out a Christian counselor who worked with us to achieve some building blocks. We had no foundation any longer; we need those cornerstones again. Christ has been our personal cornerstones but not in our marriage. That is something we had to change.
Cassi: It has been amazing watching Steve open up to God and his calling for him as a husband and a Dad. I know we have a long way to go still but every day Steve reminds me to pray our future together. And for that I am grateful. I am reminded of the Sanctus Real song “Lead Me”. Thank you for hearing my cries. To see you fight for our marriage is amazing. And I know with God's help, I will not feel alone anymore. And that our house will finally be a home.
Steve: It has been a joy being a part of the change in Cassi and our family. The changes include putting down or away distractions and spending more quality time together. Making the effort to "get away" with family camping or weekend getaways, and spending more time just talking.
It's been almost two years to the day since we called on God make changes in our lives and marriage. This past September I got down on one knee again recommitting to Cassi and God that our marriage is worth fighting for. So with a new ring symbolizing that promise, we start 2013 with a passion to share how important marriage grounded in faith is.
Cassi: As in any real forest fires the regrowth has taken time and as the forest floor heals new vegetation starts to sprout up. We are focused on getting the roots to grow deep, strong, to not let the dry tinder pile around us, so we are not as susceptible to the sparks.
~ Steve & Cassi