Monday, February 14, 2011

Forever Students

***Warning this is not a valentines post***
Some of you may realize that I am currently a college student. In fact I have been a college student for almost as long as I was a student prior to college. (In my defense I attend one class a semester, changed majors 3 times and took a year off to have our daughter) Did I mention I am finally graduating this May! I am excited to be done...for now.
I love school. I love learning something new. The challenges that come with that have always been kind of exciting. Yes, I may complain about the home work or the crazy people who attend my college. I have been known to skip class every now and then. But through it all I know I needed to be in college. I knew I needed to learn this stuff to help me get to the career I want to be in. No I don't think college completely teaches you how to do the job, that does take hands on learning but it gets you the building blocks.
Those building blocks that I have realized lately I have never learned in my marriage. Why do we feel that we should just know them? We go to school a huge portion of our live to prepare us for a career. We are mandated to take drivers ed. to become drivers. We attended birth classes and parenting when we become parents. Certain areas of our lives we realize we need help in so why is it that with relationships we think we should be able to do it all on our own?

Well S and I have realized we need help. Professional, teach us what to do, help. So we are going back to school in away. We told Mouse today that we were going to see a teacher and take some classes on how to be better Moms and Dads. Her response brought tears to my eyes "Why? I think you guys are great Mom and Dad." I told her well we are not always great husbands and wives. And that we hope to learn something to make us better. Thus we are seeking out someone who can teach us or show us how to achieve some building blocks. We have no foundation any longer, we need those corner stones again. Christ has been my personal corner stone but not in my marriage. That is something else we will have to change.
Will this work? Will it restore our marriage? I am not sure. That uncertainty is scary. Laying out our weakness, faults and pain to another person is terrifying. The fact that we have half heartily tried this before and failed is also worrisome. (I don't like failing, I have never failed a class in my life, I can actually count the number C's I have received on one hand) Relationship wise though I seem to fail a lot. Counseling will do me good. I think this time I am coming at it from a better perspective than I did six years ago. So I am off to class again today for one of the most important lessons yet.

*All pictures are from online sources
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