Tuesday, May 3, 2011

I am not the girl I use to be

I think most girls are like this. When life gets crazy, stressful or uncontrollable we change our hair. If your not let me give you an example of how I do this.

Steve and I met in 1998, I had long curly, curly hair. It was one of the things he first noticed about me. We were married in 2000. Two days after our wedding, without telling him, I chopped my hair off to my chin and straightened it. I remember when he walked in his face and words "Glad I didn't marry you for your hair".

My hair has always had some natural curl to it, I would perm or straighten it to fit my moods. It has been every normal color there is for hair. Thankfully God granted me with pretty healthy hair for all that I have done to it. When I had our daughter in 2003, my hair went stick straight. I tried perming it right after I had her to get my curls back, it didn't take.

When life went crazy two months ago, I thought I would go back to how I looked when Steve and I met. I got my long hair permed.
But, I realized something a few weeks later. I am not that girl anymore. And I don't want to be that girl anymore. The curls reminded me of everything I was, that selfish little child he married. The last few months we have been working on simplifying our lives. This big mound of curls was not simplification, it was high maintence me again. So last week, I went and got it straightened again. (Thank you to my parents for the wonderful college graduation present. And to Justin my hair guy.)

Weird isn't it how something as inconsequential as hair can make such a difference. This straight hair is me, the adult me. I think Steve put it best "I am not in love the girl you use to be, I am in love with the woman you are now."
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