Monday, February 28, 2011

Finding Me

Be True to Yourself... It is something I feel I have always struggled with. I want to be true to who I am. But what if I don't really know who that is yet. I feel like I should, I am 32 years old for goodness sakes. I have been married for over 10 years, I have a daughter, a career and soon to be college graduate. How much more do I need to figure it out??

Wait.. the stuff isn't what does it?? Yeah, so I am slow on the uptake with this one. I am just now realizing that I have to find me within and all that outside stuff will work better. But how do I find me...
Underneath all the Stuff, is me. I think. Sometime I get glimpses of her. This person I want to know better. I am pretty sure she is wanting to break free. Free from all the judgement. That word, Judgement, that is why she is never free.

I have a hard time fitting in. Now most people who read this, who know me would be shocked. I have a lot of friends and am always on the go. But I never feel like I belong. Or that I am really liked for me. I fit the mold I am intended to fit with each group. Always afraid if I step to far outside the norm I will be dropped. Left behind from the group..."She doesn't belong here."... I am not sure how I came to be this paranoid, but I have some theories. So how do I remove habits that are 20 some years in the making. How do I get past the possibility of getting hurt?
Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you."
Deuteronomy 31:6

I will get past the fear. For I know I am not alone. That is my new prayer.

**All Pictures from Google search**


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